I'm continueing to make progress, though the pace has slowed down. The doctors warned me that it works that way. I made better than normal progress for the first three weeks. I'd say I'm about 60% to 70% recovered. It will take another 6 weeks to make another 10% to 20% recovery. It could take up to a year to do the rest.

I now have a nurse, an occupational therapist, and a physical therapist coming in 3 times a week. The PT gave me quite a workout today, standing up from and sitting down in a chair without using my hands (very hard and very tiring), walking in the grass (kind of scary), and walking up stairs (slow, but steady, just keep me near that railing).

I had to catch a cab to the hospital yesterday. I had called my doctor about pain in my ears, but he was on vacation, and the other doctor in the office was going to surgery, so they told me to go to an urgent care center. But I couldn't aford to go that far, and didn't have the energy. So I called the hospital, and they assured me that my insurance would pay for an emergency room visit, in full. So that's where I went. My son tells me we were there for at least 2 hours, but I was so far out of it I didn't notice.

The doctor decided I must have something like a common cold virus. Not surprising for someone who's body has been through so much stress. Bed rest and lots of flueds were the recommended cure.

Like, I'm going to stay in bed all day! They sure don't know me very well!

So after 9 good hours of sound sleep, I get up earlier than normal today, and run the kids out of the living room into my bedroom. (They were still asleep) After the nurse and physical therapist were here, I sat down in the recliner, and said, "I will NOT take a nap!"

I woke up an hour later.

Someone came by to drive me to the store to get a few things. For once I was able to keep track of where I was and not get disoriented during the trip. BIG improvement!

After getting home, I tried to clean some spots off the carpet, but ended up very frustrated and down. I could see the spots when I was standing up, but when I would sit down to clean them, they would disappear. If someone would put a finger by a spot, I could see it, spray it, and blot it up. I think.

About 5 this evening, I sat in the recliner again. It seemed to be calling my name. Once again, I said, "I will NOT go to sleep!"

Four hours later, I woke up.

It seems like I hear the bed calling me, now. Maybe the doctor was right about the bed rest.

My daughter told me today that, when I got home from the hospital, I was pretty weird. No definition on what that means. I asked if I was still "weird". She said I'm not too bad now. At least I have an excuse!

Reading is still very hard to do. Numbers are practically impossible to decipher. The physical therapy is showing a lot of uncoordination and loss of control on my left side. That's clearing up fairly fast with exercise. I can now touch my thumb to my little finger on my left hand, but I can't touch the tip of the finger yet.

There is still some swelling in my neck. I can't look up yet because of it. And sometimes the muscles cramp and give me a headache. But that's the only source of headaches, now. I've never had a headache like the ones I had before the surgery. I have no need to take any pain killers, except after the PT has had me do a bunch of neck stretches and exercises. My head is still pretty sore, though. Enough so that I can't stand to have a breeze ruffle my hair.

My scar and a bald spot or two are obvious, but not extremely distracting, or so I'm told. I managed to get to church last weekend, and everyone wanted to see the back of my head. Since I can't see them staring at it, it doesn't bother me at all. I tell them to stare all they want, but to get my permission before touching.

It sure was good to be back in church, and (kind of) see everyone.

We've tested the web page here at home, using MS Internet Explorer 5. Everything seems to work right. Brandon still hasn't gotten a web master link set up yet. That's why that doesn't take you anywhere. If anything else is not working for you, please let me know. And feel free to send me a short email message. No one has written since I took off the guest book link, so I don't know if the email link is working.

In answer to those wondering why the guest book link was removed -- I was uncomfortable with something so public and so easily available. We did have to remove an inappropriate entry or two. It had to be monitored several times a day, and that was just too much work. I guess we could have removed the view option, but email seems so much more personal. And more manageable.

My bed is calling out to me quite loudly now. I think I had better answer. I will try to get another update written by the end of the weekend, about the effect the surgery has had on my memory. After that, I will try to give some more infrmation about AVM's.

--Kyle Update June 30, 2000, at 4:00 pm.

First, I need to let everyone know that if they sent an email from the home page email link before June 28, it went somewhere, but not here. I never could figure out what was spelled incorrectly, and ended up having to retype the whole line. When I tested the link again, I finally got my own email. There must be someone out there somewhere trying to figure out who these people are sending him wishes for a speedy recovery. At least, I hope that's what got sent. :-)

I'm continuing to improve slowly. But I'm a little bit down today. I had a couple of lectures about doing too much and not resting enough. I've also been advised (to put it nicely) that I am not to be getting out where people gather, or ride a bus. For another 2 mohts. My immune system is going to need another 5 months to get back up to peak efficiency.

Surgery sets you back in so many more ways that I ever imagined.

I'm at there stage where I'm trying to figure out something constructive to do. Everything I'm acquainted with requires more visual acuity than I have right now. Everything else requires activity, getting around town, or getting out into crowds. Things I'm not supposed to do for a while yet.

Sitting around doing nothing but healing is very boring. And I keep reminding myself that sleeping a lot is doing something constructive. But it still goes against my grain.

I've finally accepted the fact that I won't be doing any driving any time this summer, or meybe even in the fall. And the recovery time may last as long as 2 years. I've accepted all that, but am still disappointed. But I'm handling it, and will be OK. Just let me go into a corner and cry for a while, then I'll be ready to move on.

I promised some information about how the surgery has affected my memory, and I want to get into that now.

I still don't fully understand all the affectsof the surgery, and some are so far outside my experience that I don't know how to start describing them. But the memory part is a little easier to explain.

The surgery caused a situation similar to that of a bad concussion. The brain has been disturbed, nerve pathwayw have been damaged or interrupted, and it takes time to rebuild or reactivate those connections. It looks like almost nothing made it from short term to long term memory while I was in the hospital. Since then, I've been able to remember things fairly well for a few hours. But unless I make a concious effort to commit things to memory, and review them once or twice a week, they tend to start fading after 2 or 3 days. I don't recall much from the past, either. Unless someone says or does something that triggers some memory connections to start working again. Then I suddenly remember that event or topic as well as ever. And those memories don't fade any more than normal.

It's strange and hard to describe, but certain things just act as triggers to bring back whole portions of memory and brain function.

The same thing seems to apply to neuromuscular function as well. Last week I discovered that I couldn't touch my thumb and little finger together on my left hand. The day after starting the exercises, I could do it, but with great difficulty. Today, I can do it easily, but the swelling in my left hand still interfers with accuracy. But the nerve pathways have been created or re-established, and that part now works.

Tuesday the physical therapist had me walk around th apartment complex on the grass. That was really hard, and I was really nervous on the uneven surface. We did it again yesterday, and I took off at a good pace, and felt very comfortable and confident. I think I stubled only a couple of times. The nerve pathways start functioning again that quickly. Memory seems to work much the same way.

But I still don't remember a lot of you. :-)

That's about it for today. Next Tuesday I will try to bring you a brighter mood and more information on AVM's. Do you have one? Do you enen know what to look for? I didn't, and was very lucky/blessed/fortunate that they found it when they did. Just click on the current link for the lates information and rammblings.

Oh, I also wanted to apologize for all the mispellings. Even with the magnifying glass, it's very hard to tell the difference between some letters, or if they are even there. At least I have an excuse. What's yours? (couldn't resist that one.)

--Kyle